Are 80’s Cocktails Making A Comeback?

January 5, 2016

Screaming Orgasms, Sex on the Beach and Blow Jobs.

Before you ask no this isn’t a recap of the most recent Geordie Shore series.

 

80’s Cocktails are supposedly expecting a comeback. Cocktail Blogs and magazines around the globe are proclaiming it true and we have one question.

Why?

Ok several questions. Who is causing this? Is it controlled? Will England go into pandemic status again?

Are we ready for another wave of hyper-horny names and layered, day-glo fluorescent liquids? Can the so called millennials take a pounding from the rowdy creamy-and-colourful rocket fuel cocktails that kept the inhabitants of the 80’s partying for an entire decade?

Many bartenders and consumers alike who survived the decade have mixed views on this style of cocktail and its possible return.

“Utilising good quality products and modern techniques means that age old classic that were created in the 80’s can be re-invented to fit into modern times and fit comfortably contemporary bar menus”  Myles Cunliffe – Mixology Group and Restaurant Investors Beverage Program Director.

“I hate sex on the beach. It’s the devil.” –  Angry Anonymous Mixologist

These cocktails can be fun though and there is definitely a lot of room for innovation in their creation but in this age of sugar consumption awareness are beverages made from pure sweetness, cream and dreams really what we want to see on our menus across the country?

And do we really want another excuse for men to drop dirty giggles every time they order a Long Comfortable Screw Against the Wall, and a barrage of the worst dad jokes to follow an order of 12 Slippery Nipples. And with the ever twisting of the modern mind, what other delightfully-delicate-don’t-tell-your-nan named cocktails are we to expect in the future?

Yes I’ll have two shots of Kim Kardashians Arse Cheeks please.

 

That’s the best we’ve got.

 

Well they seem to be returning so prepare yourselves for inappropriately named, questionably coloured, curdled and baileys heavy cocktails and shooters that will numb your mouth.

Yes we’ve realised we’ve asked a lot of questions in this post but wouldn’t you?

 

“Love it! Of course Brighton’s the best place for Sex on the Beach! Wait, what do you mean it’s a cocktail?”